Missing You / Brenda Callahan (Sister)
Shauna- My Sister My Friend
You have been gone too many days for me to count. I miss you every day my first thought in the morning my last thought before I close my eyes at night. My life has been changed forever since you left things are just not complete for me anymore . Sometimes I feel very numb I just go on because I have to for the sake of my kids. I can put on a very brave face for everyone yet on the inside I am broken.
Connor always asks if he can play with you in heaven with the angels but that he will come back and play with me when he's done. Sian holds your picture and giggles and looks at me as if to say I know her- she held me before I came to you.
We all know in a matter of seconds we were all changed forever. I never thought for one second that I would ever loss a sibling ,my sister, my friend how that breaks my heart . I re-live that day over and over again in my mind and fantasized if I had called you 5 minutes before,maybe it never would have happened. that maybe I could have saved you but it doesn’t matter because God wanted and needed you so when you put your arms out to Him He took you because He also knew you were ready. If I had called that night or the next night yours and His decision would have still been the same.
Now all the nieces and nephews have lost a very special auntie who worshipped you and who will never forget you and will talk about you forever. As our Angela says if love could have saved you, you would have lived forever, but maybe you never knew how much you were loved. We are all to blame sometimes we all find it so hard to tell each other how much we care and love each other because we know we would fight to the bitter end for each other . I also what you to know that I am not angry that you left us. I am angry that you are not with us anymore I do not blame you for what you done you had to end your pain and I will try to understand that .The hard lesson I have learnt since you passed is that we all have to live life to the fullest don’t let the small stuff get you down . Love and respect all those who you care and love , because we never know what tomorrow will bring. A hard to lesson to learn but one I will be eternally grateful for, maybe a little too late .
To the end of my days I will keep your memory alive with the website I swore the day you died I would never let you go, you are a very special person with so much more to share . Taken too soon . Forever my sister my Friend . Loving and missing you always.
Love,
Brenda
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